Clothes Guys Shouldn’t Wear — Unless You Really Want To — Part I

I know how to sep­a­rate the truth from dri­vel. Basi­cally, what looks good and can last ver­sus a short term trend. I’m going to pro­vide you a brief guide on the per­ils of men’s fash­ion. Buckle up.

  • Span­dex: This is prac­ti­cal for pro­fes­sional ath­letes or those train­ing for ath­letic com­pe­ti­tion, such as road bike rac­ing or track and field. You need to be in great shape to pull it off. Even if you have great quads or giant glutes, hav­ing them on full dis­play in the wrong sit­u­a­tion, along with your pack­age, is still an eye sore.  It’s best to think “less is more.” Let the ladies give you some­thing nice to look at instead of your buddy. If you really need to squeeze them on, then wear some­thing over them like shorts. Adrian Greiner should have known bet­ter. And what’s up with the girl next to him?


  • UGG Aus­tralia boots:  These boots are a trend for women, mean­ing it’s over­priced and designed for their looks and com­fort. Men need boots that are also com­fort­able, but rugged, durable, water­proof and mean. They have a men’s line but the brand is strongly asso­ci­ated for women. So don’t fool your­self, even if your girl­friend is. Go instead for Red Wings, Tim­ber­lands, Sorel, Clarks or L.L. Bean. Bed/Stu is a newer brand but uses old world fun­da­men­tals. Also, never tuck your pants into your boots unless you’re climb­ing a mountain.



  • Shorts: Wear­ing casual shorts is com­fort­able dur­ing the warmer months, but make sure they’re the proper length, which is past mid thigh and at or above the knee. Michael Jor­dan had the right idea when he went to longer shorts, pos­si­bly start­ing this thank­ful trend. Also, it’s imper­a­tive to wear shorts at this length dur­ing a work­out to avoid a free peep show of the fam­ily jew­els. Again, “less is more.” And don’t wear jean shorts. Mus­tache is optional.

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  • Loud Sports Jacket: Loud pro­fes­sional sport jack­ets embla­zoned with your favorite team logo can be a blind­ing expe­ri­ence. It’s great to know you love the Cubs, but to announce it 5 miles away is a bit too much. For some rea­son, teams that design these jack­ets think they need their logo and col­ors super bold, pos­si­bly con­vert­ing us to their team. Go for some­thing more sub­tle and under­stated, with low key prints, col­ors sub­dued or only wear it to the game. Sports clothes is less a fash­ion state­ment and more an affil­i­a­tion for your favorite team.


  • Socks with San­dals: Log­i­cally, this just doesn’t make sense, just like wear­ing sus­penders with a belt. But it still doesn’t stop some of us from giv­ing it a go. San­dals are designed so your feet are exposed, usu­ally due to warm cli­mates, let­ting them breathe. So wear­ing socks defeats the pur­pose. Put on shoes if socks are necessary…well, this should visu­ally explain everything.


So there you have it. That’s Part I and next week we’ll have Part II. So keep a few of these sug­ges­tions in mind to avoid side glances and unex­pected gig­gles. If there’s any­thing you’d like to add, please let us know.

Return to our home­page to learn more about cus­tom dress shirts.

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